Now I'm not sure how into comics you all are but I'm sure yow know the basis of The Incredible hulk, There's mild mannered "Bruce Banner" and there's the hulk. Also there's his love interest Betty Ross. This analogy came about when discussing this particular person via twitter with a mutual friend. (not sure of the reaction I'll get from this person prior to him reading this) I suspect him and his friends will know who this is about but, I don't care this is my time. Using the Internet social networking sites for mostly
entertainment purposes, I had a profile on a site called Crushspot, but before that i was blogging one day and noticed i had new followers both people i had never heard of, but i shrugged it off. One day while on Crushspot, I was checking to see who had looked at my page lately (Yeah I'm vain so what)I saw an individual who struck my attention, and in a bold instance decided to click crush. That's feature in the site that alerts the person that you are interested in them. So one day he said something to me, and upon reading his page i was very interested.
Now this guy decides he's not a frequent crushspot user and refers me to my new addiction "Twitter". After following him on twitter i realized immediately that he was the
anonymous follower i received on my blog. So now things had spiced up we were both semi-pursuing each other in our own ways and now it was evident. Phone numbers were exchanged and to be totally honest i was unprepared for what was to come. For one i was unaware he was a rapper (Oh come one really another rapper i cant date another rapper) And also he was one of the smartest most easy to talk to human beings i had spoken to in some number of years. There was no wall up no protective covering, I put it all out there which you will learn was my first mistake.
At this point i had been getting to know Bruce Banner totally unaware of Hulk as of yet. Brice banner was amazing he made me feel so good about myself and the things i wanted to accomplish within the near future. After a few phone calls that would last way into the morning hours somewhere around 6 and 7o'clock, we decided
we should meet. Now i wasn't exactly so sure i wanted to do this, because I'd have to admit while I'm a fabmentalist, I'm also very self conscious. The fact that he was a very modest person dimmed the nervous feelings in my stomach.(Nobody this smart well grounded and funny could ever be genuinely interested in me) The day came were we met and we went to his place, needless to say things happened that may or may not have thrown a curve into what would happen next.
Bruce Banner was still being sweet as ever, he would leave me messages throughout the day that would leave me smiling even if in a argument with my worst e
nemy. Songs were exchanged to express some words that didn't come to surface as easily as either of us would like to.(everyday he just gets better and better) At this point i had honestly not been so forward with my feelings like he was i was only responsive and receptive to his, that's why i couldn't understand what happened next. All of a sudden when i began to show Bruce that he was indeed not the only one with these feelings, a strike of fear went into him causing the transition into the person that i knew nothing of. Hulk was starting to arise, I immediately felt sick to my stomach. Like Carrie once said in sex and the city "I had gone so far out on a limb with my feelings that i failed to realize i was now standing there alone." This was bad, the one thing i never feared would happen for the first time in my life, happened without me even noticing it. Now he was saying things like i was putting pressure on him and i needed to let him move at his own pace.(what you were just sending m
e love songs and telling me how you think about me throughout the day what changed) It was like his heart had randomly closed up. There was nothing i had done nor could do to prevent him from feeling this way. Something reminded him of his previous relationship, where he was completely torn down by.
Now here i am with this void in my life missing someone who may not have really existed, I began to think this guy is definitely playing me. I had began to fall in love with this Bruce guy and here i am siting across from the hulk in a Bruce mask, afraid to further pus him into that persona. This is the part where i meet his friends, they're similar to him in many ways but not quite as special for some reason. Don;t get me wrong I've grown an equal attachment to these guys as they played a role in me squeezing into the life of Bruce. The professor was an expert being married already and one of Bruce's best friends he Had much advice to give, to
which i will always remember how much help he was for my heart when it was breaking.(thanks professor ;0)) The professor had alerted me that Bruce had mentioned me to him, saying he actually liked me. So when he noticed a certain tension between us the private but public conversations occurred. He went on to tell me that i just needed to give him time, that he would eventually come around. While i thank the professor for keeping me Strong he also helped me hold on to a fantasy that would never come, weakening my ability to develop feelings for anyone else. Eventually Bruce decided he didn't want to be with me, which i pretended as if it didn't bother me but it did very much. Stranger than that weren't really friends, I slowly became someone he may once in a blue moon contact. This didn't sit well with me because even though i wasn't set out to be his friend i was totally happy with that, so long as we were real friends and actually relevant in each others lives.(he me
ans a lot to me and i want him to always be there no matter what)
In comes another character his right hand man, I'll call him the roman emperor. The Roman, was really cool and very nice to me, but there was some things i would soon learn, and still feel like i was set up but I'll keep that thought to myself.The roman and i went out for drinks because i was going through my ordeal with Bruce/Hulk and he had just broken up with his leading lady. Drink were in order(man was a drunk but i played it off well)There's no romantic interest in The Roman but drinks in a system pain to run from that night could have very well ended in some drunken mistake but thank God i kept my head together an decided to go home. Once Bruce got a hold of it he asked me"Why are y'all hanging out and you not telling me about it", (what! we haven't even spoken in a week you wont answer none of my tweets you fool)So I went about my day that was the end of us for a very long time. Eventually we began to miss each
other (I know because we were both spy tweeting each others he later confessed) Now friends again i made the mistake of going to visit him and we refreshingly hung out without any kind of awkward behavior.(I won an actual Oscar for my performance in "Hidden Love") Also another mistake i made was telling him i still wanted him, for some stupid reason i thought he might actually want the same. I know me and i know my heart and he;s someone I'm quite sure i will always be waiting by the door for.
To Bruce Banner:
I hope in reading this you realize through my eyes what happened and the toll it took on me, I also want you to know that nothing you could ever do would lead me to believe you are anything less than amazing. One day when your ready you will open up your heart to another, and she will be one of the luckiest women in the world believe it or not. I think i should tell you that my telling you that I'm hurt has nothing to do with what happened it's more about the fact that i missed out on something great, and that when you find the right girl it will occur to you that you cannot live without her. Sadly i wasn't that girl for you but I want you to know what in all you do i will be right there standing behind you looking on as a guardian. I'm not here to sabotage you and your future relationships but if anything to ensure your total and complete happiness.You see in my searching for a reason to why we didn't reach our full potential, this friendship that we created is one that would always be no matter what.I Lov
e you, and Its about time you know that.
Catchalater!
About The Author
Help Missdotell spread the word
0 comments:
Post a Comment